So this is the third installment of the Twilight movies and I'm pretty sure I'm happy I never read the books - and sorta regretting watching all the movies now. The story is going deeper and deeper into dull teeny melodrama, stuff that isn't even that fresh, with a story that is based on dumb stuff and ridiculous bad choices.
In this one, there is a mysterious band of wild young vampires on the loose in the Pacific Northwest killing people like crazy. It seems they might have designs on capturing Bella, though it is not totally clear why. Meanwhile, she is still moody and somehow is torn between vampire Edward (to whom she's engaged, more or less) and Native American wolf-boy Jacob, who basically can offer her nothing.
The Cullens, Edwards "family", are worried that if she is not made a vampire soon, the Volturi, the head king-judges of the vamp world, will be upset and seek to punish or kill her and them. They are also worried about this wild band of murdering vampires and arrange an elaborate battle with the young vampire army that is coming to take (or kill) Bella.
This whole story about the wild vampire army seems totally dumb and unnecessary, not to mention the fact that (sorry for the spoiler) the Cullens basically beat them all without even breaking a sweat. The reason for this fight in the first place is that Edward killed the boyfriend of some vampire chick in the first movie and she is getting revenge. To say this story line is tertiary would be an exaggeration. That is is brought up to the front so much is a mark of a terrible script and story.
That Bella has to decide between Jacob and Edward is dumb. She has basically never shown more than mere friendship to Jacob (ok, fine, they kisses a few times) and has always been in love with Edward. She says she's still totally in love with Edward, but Jacob doesn't believe her for some reason. Clearly all hell will break loose with the Volturi if she picks Jacob and doesn't become a vampire - but nobody ever breaks her options down like this. This is bad teen romantic melodrama at its worst.
Director David Slade (who previously did the indie piece Hard Candy, and that's about it) gives the film no particular look or feel at all. The first film had very nice photography and the second one had a nice indie rock soundtrack, but this one has neither. It's basically as dead as the story - just a lot of stuff happening on screen but not elegant or pretty or interesting at all.
Even worse than the writing is the acting. I don't know how this franchise could come out with three of the worst acting leads in a generation, but it has done just that. Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson are both laughable in their difficulty with basic emotions and line reading. Kristen Stewart rises to a new level of mediocrity with her craft. She is dead behind the eyes and doesn't even play a melancholy teen well. I hope to god that after this terrible series of films is done, Hollywood will wake up to the fact that she can't act and stop casting her in stuff. She's still young and if she keeps working for the rest of her life, it will be a very sad thing for me.
Stars: .5 of 4
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